The Artist’s Way: Recovering a Sense of Integrity and Possibility

Last week I fell behind due to holidays in Italy, it was a long weekend with the family. The days passed by slowly and quickly in turn and I didn’t manage to blog about anything. But my mind was running full speed (as always). I enjoyed reading time during rainstorms and I’ve continued on my journey of reading The Artist’s Way (here’s a link to the copy I bought on Amazon). In fact, I read two chapters!

Reading The Artist's Way: Recovering a sense of Integrity

The fourth week of the journey is about recovering a sense of integrity. Although I see how morning pages can be useful, I definitely didn’t keep to the routine over vacation days. Sometimes, I don’t really feel the need. Although my experience has not been earth shattering per say… or a complete revolution, I’m certainly gaining tidbits of good information and a lot more understanding of my creative self in reading this book. This fourth chapter actually addresses the fact that for some it might not be a dramatic process for everyone – or we might not be able to see the change because we are in the trenches. Oddly enough, I’ve only been able to think about these headaches I’ve been getting every so often… sort of aching in the back of my head. Maybe I’m thinking too much!

The chapter also issues a challenge to not read for a week. Haha! I decided to change it up and try not surfing the internet and reading online, as opposed to traditional books. I really enjoy seeing what others do and reading blogs, but I also know it’s a huge time suck in my schedule. I can’t help it!

So this will be something I tackle for myself… to not overwhelm my senses. Of course, I have definitely learned to relax and just hang around outside playing with my puppy, so again, nothing dramatically changing for me. More awareness I suppose and tidying up of my habits and routines.

Since I didn’t feel so moved or needing of the time for the chapter, I decided to keep reading to the next one about recovering a sense of possibility. I know, I’m totally cheating, eh? This flexibility is why I like self-paced courses 🙂

Chapter Five is about limits. It was quite interesting because I’ve always been a dreamer and cheerleader type. It doesn’t mean that I’ve been able to always follow through with projects, but I’ll always be the first to say “why not?!” I really love this part of my personality… the crazy American dream factor, I like to say. Possibility is there.

The section about finding the river seems to be like going with the flow, another thing I like to say. I suppose in my mind, there are many affirmations and motivations already floating around. I love quotes and clever sayings… it’s something that has always been around for me. So I guess even though I have doubts and worries, criticizing myself in many ways… I have equally the other set of motivations to sort of balance things out. I suppose, I had never thought or realized that… but I truly feel that way. Makes me feel quite content.

The section that was the most interesting was about the Virtue trap. Basically that we seem to be totally okay on the outside and thinking of others, doing things to be unselfish. Even though we just want to be left alone. I often feel this way and it makes me feel very guilty. I want to spend time with family, but at the same time, I need solitude and quiet freedom to act upon my crazy ideas and musings. But it is a struggle.

I am always in awe of how parents are able to do anything at all!? I find it hard to just see my puppy sitting there, waiting for me to play with him. It is really hard to ensure that you are fulfilled because we don’t want to be selfish. We have been told and taught since childhood to share and not be selfish. Giving of yourself seems so virtuous. This is something I struggle with and not sure how to resolve it. I want it all! (Queen song comes to mind)

Something I do love about this chapter are all the dream and wish exercises. Lots of list making for me, because I find that the easier way to get things down in a more concise manner, rather than writing like I talk ala morning pages and these blogs I think HAHA! I’m thinking it would be good to turn all these lists into a journal of sorts. Sometimes I don’t like to write down wishes, because they might not come true and it saddens me to see the evidence…silly, right? Perhaps the courage to write it out is the first step to realizing your wishes…

Related:

Imperfectly Beautiful Minibook

I’m a big fan of Karen Gurnberg, a scrapbooker, a mom, a manager, a photographer…an inspiration for all. A while back I had registered for her free class at Big Picture Classes, Embrace Perfection…but didn’t really have the time to go through it properly. But I suppose that was an excuse in some ways…perhaps I simply wasn’t ready to take it all in.

Now that I’ve finally gone through her presentation, I feel as if it’s a wake up call and really changing the way I look at scrapbooking, as well as others things in life. To go back to the root of why we do what we do…and if we are happy with how things are going.

I think all too often, especially when we start sharing our work with others, an element of wanting to be accepted and praised pops up. Even though in the end, it doesn’t really matter. You still do what you love, because you are compelled.

I’ve been quiet on the blog and not sharing so much lately. Busy with things – yes! But also not so comfortable sharing all my personal scrapbooking layouts and projects. They certainly aren’t perfect and sometimes I think there’s nothing special about them to anyone else…so why would I share or why would anyone care? But wanting to share…it’s natural, I think. What stops us…is the fear of being judged probably…

Still not sure how I feel about that at times…and of course when there are other people in my photos, I tend to not share for courtesy of not splashing their faces on the Internet. And I’m just too lazy to blur things out…seems to go against the point of sharnig things…but this is another topic I suppose…

In terms of getting things done and understanding myself a bit more…I just love what Karen says in her class. I encourage everyone to listen to her presentation, whether you scrapbook or not… the idea of embracing imperfection can be applied to any discipline.

I think it has affected me because of that…because I’m thinking about it for my whole life – not just scrapbooking. About wanting to be perfect or appear to be perfect, but struggling…struggling oh so much with it, because it is not possible.

I realize now that no one cares or wants you to be perfect – seriously! If I think about my view on others…it all makes sense. Why can’t I easily apply it to myself, right? We can all give each other wise words of wisdom, yet it seems we do not believe or follow it for ourselves.

I do need the reminder…the encouragement and motivation to help break through ugly thoughts. I really only care about being happy…spending time with my family…enjoying this life we have. I just saw this post where Kathy Davis says life is far from perfect but it can still be wonderful! So true.

Not sure why I’m getting all philosophical here… I really just wanted to share the minibook I created  from the quotes Karen provided in the class…and to tell everyone to check it out, because it’s an amazing and inspiring class. I love the minibook idea, to help prevent me from spiralling out of control, thinking everything must be perfect as I work here on my desk.

Even though the binding of this book is totally wrong and unstable…not enough support when it comes to binding of books…

Even though I smeared glue all over, because I have serious issues with controlling that darn glue – all the time…

Even though nothing is straight or aligned…

…yet I still love my book. I had fun with paint, creating the messy crazy background papers. I had fun drawing and coloring my little girls, so they could cheer for me! It was so freeing to just cut with scissors and not care about alignment or perfection. It’s simple and cute…just the way I like things. I thought instantly – imperfectly beautiful…that’s me.